As a perinatal mental health therapist, I hear one question more than any other during sessions: "Is what I'm feeling normal?" (Usually asked while juggling a baby, a cold cup of coffee, and whatever semblance of sleep they managed to get the night before.) Let's talk about the difference between typical postpartum experiences and when it might be time to reach out for additional support.
What "Normal" Really Looks Like After Having a Baby
First, let's get real about what typical postpartum adjustment looks like – and spoiler alert, it's not what you see in those perfectly filtered social media posts.
Physical Changes
Your body is doing incredible work healing from pregnancy and birth. You might be experiencing night sweats (hello, hormones!), various aches and pains, and fatigue that makes you understand why sleep deprivation is so challenging. This is your body's normal recovery process, and it generally improves with time.
Emotional Shifts
The first two weeks postpartum often bring what we call the "baby blues," affecting about 80% of new parents. You might find yourself crying over seemingly small things, feeling overwhelmed one moment and joyful the next, or wondering if you'll ever feel like yourself again. These feelings typically come and go like waves, gradually stabilizing as your hormones settle and you adjust to your new role.
Identity and Life Changes
It's completely normal to feel uncertain about your new identity as a parent. You might miss aspects of your previous life while simultaneously feeling deep love for your baby. This contradiction is a natural part of the transition to parenthood, and most parents gradually find their footing in this new chapter.

When It's More Than Normal Adjustment
Sometimes, the postpartum period brings challenges that go beyond typical adjustment. Here's how to recognize when you might be experiencing a Postpartum Mood and Anxiety Disorder (PMAD):
Signs of Postpartum Depression
Persistent feelings of sadness, emptiness, or hopelessness that don't lift
Losing interest in activities you usually enjoy
Difficulty bonding with your baby or feeling disconnected
Significant changes in appetite or sleep (unrelated to baby's needs)
Overwhelming guilt or feelings of worthlessness
Thoughts of death or suicide
Signs of Postpartum Anxiety
Constant worry that feels impossible to control
Physical symptoms like racing heart, dizziness, or nausea
Intrusive thoughts about possible harm coming to the baby
Excessive checking behaviors
Avoiding certain situations because they feel overwhelming
Key Differences Between Normal Adjustment and PMADs
Timeline
Normal adjustment typically improves within the first few weeks as you settle into new routines and your hormones stabilize. PMADs persist beyond two weeks and often worsen without support.
Impact on Daily Life
While normal adjustment certainly makes life more challenging, you're generally still able to meet basic needs for yourself and your baby. With PMADs, daily tasks feel monumentally difficult, and taking care of yourself becomes extremely challenging.
Quality of Thoughts
Normal worries tend to be realistic concerns about baby care and adjustment that come and go. With PMADs, thoughts are often intrusive, persistent, and feel impossible to control or redirect.
When to Reach Out for Support
Consider seeking professional help if:
Your symptoms last longer than two weeks
You're struggling to complete basic daily tasks
You have thoughts of harming yourself or your baby
Anxiety or depression is severely interfering with your sleep or daily activities
You feel persistently disconnected from your baby
You're using alcohol or other substances to cope
How Professional Support Helps
As a perinatal mental health therapist, I provide:
A safe space to share your struggles without judgment
Evidence-based strategies that work in real life
Support in strengthening your bond with your baby
Tools for managing difficult thoughts and emotions
Guidance for partners and family members
Moving Forward
Remember, seeking help isn't a sign of weakness – it's a sign of strength and wisdom. Early support leads to better outcomes for both you and your baby. Whether you're experiencing normal postpartum adjustment or symptoms of a PMAD, you deserve to feel supported on this journey.
If you're feeling overwhelmed by your postpartum experience, you're not alone. As a perinatal mental health therapist, I'm here to help you navigate this challenging time with compassion and practical support. Reach out when you're ready – supporting you through this journey is what I'm here for.

Comments