top of page
  • Writer's pictureJenna

How to Cope with Secondary Losses and Find Healing After Termination for Medical Reasons (TFMR)

Experiencing Termination for Medical Reasons (TFMR) can be a profoundly challenging and emotionally complex journey.

Beyond the loss of the anticipated pregnancy, individuals and couples often face a multitude of secondary losses that deeply impact their lives.

baby nursery with teddy bear

Here are some common secondary losses associated with TFMR:

Loss of Parenthood Dreams: TFMR often involves letting go of cherished hopes and dreams associated with becoming parents. This loss includes imagining a future with the child, planning for their upbringing, and envisioning family milestones.

Loss of Identity: For those who have strongly identified with their role as a parent-to-be, the loss of the pregnancy can lead to a profound sense of identity crisis and loss of self.

Loss of Connection: TFMR may strain relationships with partners, family members, and friends as individuals navigate grief in different ways. This loss of connection can intensify feelings of isolation and loneliness.

Loss of Trust in the Body: Experiencing TFMR can shake individuals' confidence in their bodies' ability to conceive and carry a healthy pregnancy, leading to feelings of betrayal and loss of self-trust.

Loss of Innocence: TFMR can shatter beliefs in the fairness of life and the assumption that pregnancy will always result in a healthy baby, leading to a loss of innocence and a heightened awareness of life's uncertainties.

man sitting on a couch with hand on his face

Loss of Control: TFMR often involves difficult medical decisions and procedures, leaving individuals feeling powerless and helpless in the face of adversity.

Financial Loss: TFMR may entail financial burdens associated with medical expenses, time off work, and fertility treatments, adding to individuals' stress and anxiety.

Loss of Future Plans: TFMR can disrupt individuals' plans for the future, including family planning and sibling spacing, career goals, and lifestyle choices, leading to a sense of uncertainty and upheaval.

Loss of Faith or Beliefs: Experiencing TFMR may challenge individuals' faith, spirituality, or belief systems as they grapple with questions about the meaning of life and the nature of suffering and loss.

woman lying on the floor with eyes closed listening to music

Navigating these secondary losses can be daunting, but there are steps individuals can take to support their recovery:

  • Seek support from healthcare professionals, counselors, support groups, and loved ones who can provide understanding and empathy.

  • Allow yourself to grieve and express your emotions openly without judgment.

  • Take care of your physical and mental well-being through self-care activities such as exercise, mindfulness, and relaxation techniques.

  • Be patient and compassionate with yourself as you navigate the grieving process.

  • Consider participating in rituals or ceremonies that honor the loss and provide closure.

  • Explore creative outlets such as writing, art, or music as a means of processing your emotions.

woman sitting on the couch facing another individual

Remember, healing from TFMR is a deeply personal journey, and it's okay to seek help and support as you navigate through this challenging time.

9 views0 comments


bottom of page